Question from Tammy:
How do you word invitations so that you invite only a certain number of guests to the dinner? To cut cost, we can only invite a certain number of guests to the dinner. We want everyone to come to the reception. So do we send out invites with wedding,dinner,and reception. Then send out invites with wedding and reception? Thanks.
Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:
Hi Tammy and congratulations on your upcoming wedding. It is considered poor form to invite guests to only part of a wedding celebration. You and your fiance are the hosts of this party, and your behaviour should be gracious and inclusive. By inviting some guests to the dinner and others to the reception, you are in essence telling those invited to the reception that they weren’t important enough to be invited to the dinner. It can be construed as insulting to some, and I would be very careful making this decision.
Saying that, there are some exceptions that take place in our more modern times. Sometimes the dinner is a private family dinner, which is held at a separate location from the reception. In this case, invitations to a private dinner are issued, and everyone gets the wedding ceremony and reception invitations. Situations in which this occurs tend to be if family members are invalids or infirm, and cannot cope with a large group of people. A dinner is held privately for family, and then the reception is held afterwards. The reception will also serve food, but usually later in the evening as a cold buffet.
How you proceed is up to you, as in our modern society a lot of the traditions are put aside for the desires of the wedding couple. But treating everyone fairly and with respect is very important. Would you like to be invited to a wedding, and a reception and not invited to the dinner? I doubt it. Most people wouldn’t.
Over the months leading to your wedding, there are opportunities like the engagement party or wedding social in which to invite everyone you know to attend. The wedding dinner and reception are one unit and should not be separated. It is poor etiquette.
Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert
About Angela
