Question from Julie:
Hi Angela, My three boys, ages 5, 4, and 2 are supposed to walk down the aisle for a former babysitter, who they have not seen in about a year. (The 2 and 4 year olds just turned 2 and 4) My husband and I are invited to the wedding and are not in the wedding. How do you recommend getting three such young boys to cooperate? Thanks in advance for your suggestions.
Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:
Hi Julie. I can give you some suggestions, but you know the personalities of your children best, and it is how you handle those personalities that are important here. I would suggest you get the eldest on-board first. Talk to him about what will happen, answer his questions, ask how he feels about doing it. By going over it ahead of time, when the time comes it will be easier for him to feel confident about doing it. Talk to him about helping his brothers be in the right spot, etc.
The other two children need to be coached in the same way, but, if the personality of your eldest can handle it, have him be the leader of the three. They will look to him to be sure of what they are doing, since you will not be there up front and centre with them. A special promised reward if they do everything right would be a way to entice them to behave. As long as they don’t take a temper tantrum right there, the reward should be granted. It’s hard being in the spotlight at a young age.
I would suggest that the youngest, or even the two youngest (you know your children best) be able to go back to sit with you after the walk up the aisle. You should be sitting up front where they can see you and are comfortable knowing you are right there. If their energy level and personality can handle it, they could stay up front during the entire ceremony. You will know this better once the rehearsal has taken place.
I was at one wedding where they had young children sit with an adult in special chairs to the side after they had walked up the aisle. When it came time to do the ring, the ring bearer got up from his chair and approached the best man with his pillow. The best man took the rings from the pillow, and the ring bearer went back to his chair. He was so proud to do his part.
The most important thing is to have the children do what they are able to do. It seems simple, but unrealistic expectations of what the children can do is the usual cause of problems during a wedding ceremony. I suggest you find out exactly what the bride is expecting, and be honest about whether you think they can perform as required. This should be a happy time for everyone, so making things easy so they can succeed is the important thing.
Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert
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