Question from Christine:
Hi, My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage but he is really hung up on the wedding itself. He does not want to have attendants. I’m trying to consider this with an open mind. However, I have several concerns, one of which is how our photos will look with close friends who won’t match. Another is how to bring color to the wedding. There are other issues, but if you could help me with these I would be grateful.
Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:
Hi Christine. When getting married, you need to have witnesses to sign the marriage license. This is where the term "stand up for" comes from. The Maid of Honour and the Best Man "stand up for" you and witness the legality of your marriage. No matter where or how you get married, you will need someone to witness the marriage. Usually people choose their closest, best friend for the MOH and Best Man to do this task. When you say he does not want attendants, does that include the MOH and Best Man?
The Best Man and Groomsmen are traditionally responsible for the "stag party" as well as decorating the wedding cars. They do things like pick up and return the tuxedos and other rentals before and after the wedding so the bride and groom can concentrate on the wedding preparations, and later go on their honeymoon without incurring extra penalties and rental charges.
The MOH is responsible for organizing the bridal shower, and along with the bridesmaids and groomsmen, for decorating the reception space. Having attendants is not just about having someone for the pictures. They help the bride and groom with all the wedding preparations, as well as things after the wedding. If your fiance understood this better, he might reconsider. Planning a wedding is a huge task with a lot of details to decide upon, and takes time to accomplish. The help of the bridal party is instrumental in making the whole process a fun time, instead of a lot of work.
Saying all that, it is possible to have a small, intimate wedding with just a few people and doing everything yourself. Another option is to have a private wedding ceremony and then invite everyone to the reception.
As for colour, you can incorporate colour through your flowers, and ceremony and reception decorations. This includes napkins, mesh/tulle, flowers, wedding favours, and centrepieces to name the main ways.
I hope this answers your concerns. If you have any further questions, please feel free to email again.
Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert
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