How Do We Do A Renewal of Vows Like A Real Wedding? – Ask The Expert Answer

Question from Amanda:

Well hello. I got married at the justice of the peace with only 2 witness and that was because we didn’t have the money for a wedding. I was wondering if it would be wrong to want to do the renewal as if it was a true wedding, and if it would be ok, what things should I omit from the ceremony and reception?

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Amanda, and congratulations on your wedding!  The only difference in the ceremony between a ‘true wedding’ and a ‘renewal of vows’ would be some of the wording in there ceremony.  You can still have your full "I do" ceremony.  The person performing the wedding has the wording for this and can help you plan an appropriate ceremony for your circumstances—and yet have it as a ‘true wedding’. 

From an etiquette point of view, the rules around being remarried are quite clear.  If a bride has not had a full wedding with all the usual pomp and ceremony, she can have one.  If a bride has had a full wedding at some point in her life, any subsequent wedding must follow the rules of an encore (or second) wedding.  It doesn’t matter if the guy has been remarried or not—the ‘rule’ follows the bride’s wedding status. 

Many brides who ‘missed’ having a full wedding plan to have one later when they can afford it, or when the finances are in place.  Usually this ‘renewal’ of vows is held around their anniversary, but sometimes it is just held at a date of their choosing.  The things you should be aware of are 1)  the officiant will help you with the ceremony wording, and 2) the invitation wording will be different than a wedding. 

This wedding invitation wording video will explain the rules around wedding invitation wording.  For a renewal of vows, instead of saying:  "…..request the honour of your presence at the marriage of ….." , you would say "……..request the honour of your presence to celebrate the recent marriage of…..".  If you are paying for your own wedding (without help from your parents), then the wording would be "…The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage celebration of…"

If you have had any bridal showers already, the people who attended them would not attend any subsequent bridal showers.  The rule is that a guests goes to one bridal shower per bride—no matter how many times she gets married. 

Those are the basic things you need to know.  If you are looking for how to get started with your wedding planning, check out this wedding planning website.