How Do I Plan A Rehearsal Dinner? – Ask The Expert Answer
Question from Suzanne:
I want to hold a rehearsal dinner, but I am unsure of what is involved. Can you tell me more about rehearsal dinners?
Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:
Hi Suzanne,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. The rehearsal dinner is a popular tradition in some families, whereas other families never hold a rehearsal dinner. The choice is up to you, as there is no ‘right or wrong’ when it comes to holding a rehearsal dinner.
The rehearsal dinner usually takes place in the late afternoon or evening before the wedding. The rehearsal is usually the same day, but the rehearsal itself can be held another day in the week leading up to the wedding. It is tradition that the groom’s family host the rehearsal dinner, which means they plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner. Often, they consult with the bride or the bride’s mother on details so that it fits the overall theme of the wedding. The rehearsal dinner is usually a dinner at a restaurant. If it is a large party which also includes out-of-town guests, it can be a more elaborate with flowers and wedding favours that match the wedding colours and theme, and can be a catered affair at a hotel. This is more common at high-end weddings.
The rehearsal dinner includes the entire wedding party, the officiant (and their spouse), the wedding planner, the couple’s parents and grandparents (including step parents), and siblings of the bride and groom who are not in the wedding party. Any one of those listed here should have their partner invited (spouse, fiances, and live-in companions). Dates are not included in the rehearsal dinner. If the wedding couple have children, they can attend, as well as the flower girl and ring bearer, if the time of the rehearsal is not too late in the day. Out-0f-town guests can be invited to the rehearsal dinner, but it is not mandatory.
The rehearsal dinner invitation should be sent out three to six weeks in advance. They can be informal, handwritten notes to more formal purchased invitations.
The dinner should not ‘drag on’ as the next day is the wedding, and everyone should be well rested. So toasts, and gift giving should take place during the dinner—between courses, or at any time throughout the meal. The first toast is usually by the host of the party (groom’s father) welcoming guests and expressing their feelings about the upcoming wedding. This is usually followed by a toast from the bride’s father, and then anyone else who would like to make a toast.
If the attendant’s choose to make a toast, they should be funny stories about the bride and groom’s past. The Maid of Honour and the Best Man usually present the atttendants’ gift to the couple at the rehearsal dinner, and the bridal party will also receive their thank you gifts from the bride and groom. If not already given, the couple will present their parent’s with their gifts on this occasion. The couple usually make their final payment to the wedding planner at the rehearsal dinner, whereas the officiant is paid the day of the wedding.
This the basics of a rehearsal dinner. If you have further questions, feel free to ask.
Angela Fiebelkorn, certified wedding planner
