Wedding unity candles have only recently been made popular in wedding ceremonies of today, mainly so in the United States and Canada and not so much elsewhere just yet but the popularity is gradually growing. The new addition to the traditional wedding ceremony involves mainly one large pillar candle, which is also known as the unity candle, and it will be accompanied by two smaller candles, which are called taper candles, alongside it on the day of the wedding at the altar.
What happens during the wedding ceremony is that right at the very beginning, before the couple takes their vows, the two taper candles will be lighted first. The taper candles are usually lighted by one representative from the bride’s side, and one representative from the groom’s side of the family. The representatives are usually the bride and groom’s respective mothers, although this is not a necessity. As long as the candle is lighted by an immediate family member it will do, so it could be lighted by the father, brother, or sister if for any reason the mother is not able to do so.
The wedding unity candles are usually lighted at the end of the wedding ceremony after the couple has taken their vows and the priest has officially declared them husband and wife. The bride and groom will each take a taper candle in hand (which had been previously lighted by one of their family members), and then together as a couple, they will simultaneously light the large unity candle in front of the priest, their families and all the attending guests.
The candle is usually placed right in front at the altar so that all those present may bear witness to the lighting ritual. The reason that wedding unity candles are lighted by the bride and groom at the same time is because it is supposed to symbolize their newfound unity in each other, hence the name unity candle. The candle is supposed to mean that the once two separate individuals have now come together to form a new life and new partnership together, and the hope that it is only the beginning of a new and wonderful life with each other.
During the lighting of the wedding unity candles, there are two things that can happen while the ceremony is being performed. The first is that the bride and groom could choose to have a song played softly in the background while they light the candle. The song of choice will be one that ideally holds special meaning for the both of them. A lot of western couples are fond of using “their song”, which is a song that is special to them because it could be the song that was playing on their first date perhaps, or something that they both love, or the song that was playing when he proposed to her. For whatever reason, the song is important to them so they could choose to have it played during the lighting of the candle.
The second option is while the couple lights the wedding unity candles the priest could narrate a short commentary for the benefit of the congregation. There are a number of options here as well as to what the commentary could be. For example the priest could narrate the symbolism of the unity candle and what it represents, a short meaningful poem about the journey of marriage perhaps, special quotes or sayings about marriage, the couple’s wedding vows to each other or anything that the bride and groom would perhaps have chosen for him to narrate on that day really.
Once the unity candle has been lighted, the bride and groom will then blow out the two taper candles. This too has a symbolic meaning behind it. When the candles are blown out, it signifies the end of the bride and groom’s individual and separate lives from here on, since they are about to begin a whole new life together as husband and wife. But the couple has an option here of either blowing out the candles or choosing not to blow them out.
Some couples want to show that even though yes, they are beginning their new lives together, they will still will hold on to some of their individuality and bring that into the marriage with them, so they can leave the candles burning. Either way doesn’t really matter, it is just symbolic and it is the unity candle that matters most. And that, in short is the beautiful new ritual of the lighting of the unity candle at wedding ceremonies.
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