A second wedding is somewhat different from a first. For one thing, one or both parties have been married before, just to a different person. For another, because of this, the second wedding brings with it a little more trepidation mingled with the excitement that comes with the occasion. After all, for either one or both of the couple, the event is a repeat of something previously experienced, in somewhat different circumstances. Despite all this, it is still something very much to look forward to.
From the moment you are engaged to saying “I Do”, as much as possible, get the children (if any) involved in the planning. If they are too young to physically help with the chores and labor, let them tag along for the shopping for flowers, wedding cake, gown and anything safe enough for them to touch and even try on or taste.
As for rings, it would also make perfect sense to not recycle them – as in, do not wear or give engagement or wedding rings that were meant for the previous partner, even if the previous marriage was not one that failed. Rings are a symbol of unending love for your partner so giving a ring that had “belonged” to someone else only spells unending love for that person, and not necessarily you.
Also to be avoided is getting married (or remarried) at the same venue. Needless to say, this will only evoke unwanted memories for both you and your guests. Even discussing or bringing up previous spouses at the ceremony and reception should be avoided as much as possible.
A second wedding is often the platform for the couple to be married to learn from their previous mistakes at the previous wedding. In a slightly different scenario, usually it is the couple who will pay for the festivities this time, as family members would usually have already contributed to the first. If this is the case, know the budget and stick to it stringently. After all, unlike the first, this marriage will come with its own commitments already – children, mortgage, cars and other possible liabilities like alimony and child support.
For those who are remarrying from a previous failed marriage, unless you are in an extremely open-minded society (and sometimes even if so), it is best to avoid inviting close friends of and family members from the former partner, unless you yourself are on a close relationship with them personally. This could start tongues a-wagging and unnecessary harsh criticism of the whole proceedings – the wedding venue, reception, décor, food, even the current bride or groom and what they are wearing. Not to mention that some guests may feel uncomfortable around them, leading to a segregation of your guests.
Announcing your second wedding should be as straightforward as possible. A clear-cut message of who’s marrying whom, where and when, will suffice. And if you decide to have a bridal shower, make sure you are inviting the ones who would truly understand and accept your reasons for being in a second marriage. The last thing you need is criticisms of your decisions for a chance at love.
If this is the bride’s second time down the aisle, please note that second wedding dresses are no different from first. The only different would be in design and taste – as second-time brides often display a more mature flavor in their sense of style. Again, the dress should reflect her personality and lifestyle. And it is to be noted that wearing white, off-white and close-to-white colors are not disallowed as previously believed. However, veiling is often replaced by an alternative headpiece such as a simple tiara, string of pearls or hat. In some second weddings, the second-time bride even forgoes any form of head apparel altogether.
In every circumstance of planning a second wedding, do ensure that every step is done with utmost sensitivity and appropriateness. There may be some negative feelings amongst family members, particularly children and parents, which will be aroused by some trivial detail such as flowers or gifts, pertaining to the first wedding. Trivial as these skirmishes may be, do handle them with care as emotions do tend to run high.
The second wedding ceremony can fall into extremes. On one hand, it could be an intimate, cozy affair just for close friends and family. On the other, it could be a lavish, extravagant never-ending party. Whichever you choose, just remember that this is a celebration of love between two people who have decided to give it another go.
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