Question from Marie in Toronto
Good evening.
I live in Toronto. I will be getting married in the near future. My wedding
is invitation only. However, I am concern some people will show up at the
church and at the reception. What can be done to solve this problem without
hurting people’s feelings?
Also some people have bad habits. They will not respond to the invitation
but will show up. Being that my wedding will be catered, how can this be
solve?
Thank you, Marie
Answer from Bridal Expert Angela
Hi Marie,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.
Church weddings are traditionally open to the public. If you wanted to make it a closed affair, I would speak with your church Father/Pastor/Minister/Rabbi about how to go about doing that. Different places have different practices.
The reason church weddings are open to the public is because the reception is invitation only. That way, people who want to come to the wedding can, even if they aren’t invited to the reception. Some receptions are very small (family only or family and a few friends), so this enables friends, coworkers, etc. who care about you to come and be part of the celebration with you.
Some churches have the tradition of church members attending weddings because they are part of the spiritual family.
The reception is invitiation only. Rarely will anyone come to a wedding without an invitation. How will they know where to go, time to be there, etc.? Although, it is true that they could get that information from family members or friends.
If you want to be sure that only invited guests are attending the wedding, you could ask someone to sit at a table outside the reception room with a guest list, and check off the names of the guests as they arrive. If someone isn’t on the list, they wouldn’t be let in.
As for guests who have not replied to the invitation, it is common practise for the bride or someone from the wedding party to phone everyone who has not responded to the invitation to confirm if they are attending or not. Do this a few days after the deadline you have on the reply cards. That should give you the number of people attending so the caterers will have an accurate count.
I wish you well in your wedding planning, and if you have any other questions, please feel free to email me.
Angela Fiebelkorn
About Stephanie
