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Destination Wedding and Reception at Home? “Ask The Expert” Answer

March 22, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Question from Lisa

Hi – I am having a civil ceremony here in Surrey, B.C. on Oct. 12th and then
having my renewal of vows service in Varadero, Cuba on December 5. I have
invited people I know to Cuba that have the means to travel and enjoy doing
so and my count at this time is 20 and rising (could get as high as 30). I
wanted to just do the civil service with two witnesses but now am feeling
guilty for family and friends that can’t afford to go to Cuba and am
thinking of inviting up to 20 guests here. This is starting to get out of
hand and I need advise. Is it tacky to do both – will the people going to
Cuba expect to come to this – my father and sister and groom’s mother are
going to Cuba and I am debating that they come to the one here but then I
think I want my father here to witness the legal marriage as well. Do you
have any advise to bride’s doing the destination wedding and a service
here? Any feedback would be appreciated.
Lisa

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela

Hi Lisa,
 
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.
 
Of course, it is your wedding, and you can do anything you like, in any order.
 
Saying that, there are three ways you can handle this situation. 
 
ONE:  Proceed with a civil ceremony here (with your 2 witnesses), followed by your Cuba wedding party.  That is your wedding.  Then, you could have a dinner or reception in BC, after the wedding has taken place for everyone who didn’t go to Cuba.  This would be an opportunity to share photos and stories.  If you choose this method, please email me again, as there are some standard things that occur in this type of reception.
 
TWO:  Invite everyone to the civil ceremony, and leave the "wedding reception" to the Cuba trip.  You could have a wine & cheese reception after the ceremony without dancing, meal, etc.  Just an opportunity for family and friends to gather and talk before going home, as civil ceremonies are usually very short.
 
THREE:  Actually get married in Cuba, followed by the wedding reception.  Then when you come back, have a reception/dinner here for everyone who didn’t make it to Cuba.
 
Personally, I would do option #2, as it allows everyone to take part in your big day.  Then the wine & cheese reception gives a chance for family and friends to gather, mingle and visit for an hour or so.  This does not diminish the Cuba wedding party you have planned as the wine & cheese would not have dancing, or a meal. 
 
The wine & cheese reception could have classical music in the background, some chairs, but predominately it would be a "standing" affair for people to walk around and mingle.  I would make sure there are enough chairs for the elderly people to sit.  You want to show hospitality without turning it into the wedding reception. 
 
I would put the time of the wine and cheese reception on the invitation.  Example:  2 pm to 3 pm. 
 
As for food, it should all be finger food, served with napkins.  Wine & cheese (of course), fruit, crackers, and if you so desire, finger sandwiches, and dessert (or even a wedding cake). 
 
Again, you want the real wedding to be in Cuba, and this is a show of hospitality to your wedding ceremony guests. 
 
Those are three options. 
 
Usually the couple gets married at the destination at a destination wedding.  This can be difficult depending upon the requirements of the country you are getting married in. 
 
I know one couple who had a "fake" destination wedding because their papers weren’t in order and the officials wouldn’t grant them their marriage.  They went ahead, and didn’t tell anyone, and when they returned to Canada, they quietly went and had a civil ceremony!  Everyone thinks they got married at their destination. 
 
My brother had a destination wedding in Panama, and actually got married there.  The morning of the wedding they had to go into Panama City (2 hr drive from the resort) and spent all morning going from one official office to another to have papers signed, approved, stamped, etc.  They just got back in time to get ready and get to the ceremony.  It had to be done the day of the ceremony.
 
Destination weddings are very exotic, but do have their drawbacks.  I think having a civil ceremony here in Canada is a very practical decision.
 
Good luck in your wedding plans, and drop me a line to let me know how it all turned out.
 
If you have any other questions, please feel free to email me.
 
Sincerely,
Angela Fiebelkorn
Filed Under: Ask The Expert
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