Question from Jena:
Hello
I will try to explain the situation as best I can. My fiance’s brother is getting married in a few months. My Fiance my soon to be sister in law and brother in law have been invited into the wedding party. Therefore everyone has been included in the ceremony accept myself. I am very hurt by this. I understand I am not a married in member of the family yet but my fiance and I have been engaged for years and we have 3 children together, so in my (and my fiances) mind I am part of the family.
Am I being overly sensitive to the situation?
Thanks Jena
Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:
Hi Jena. It is traditional for the groom to include his family members and friends as groomsmen/ushers, and the bride to include her family members and friends as bridesmaids.
If you feel very strongly about this situation and want an answer, ask your fiance to privately ask his brother why you weren’t included. It could be something as simple as the fact that you have three children they thought it would be easier on you if you weren’t in the bridal party. There could be a million reasons why they did what they did, and I would not take it personally.
If you are really feeling hurt by this, ask your fiance to suggest to his brother that you be given some part in the wedding ceremony like giving a bible reading or prayer at the ceremony.
Weddings are very hectic times for the wedding couple, and they make decisions without thinking how something might hurt someone. With your own wedding coming up, you will soon see that you can’t include everyone you may want to in your wedding party. This is especially true when the couple have a large circle of friends and family. Only those you are emotionally close to usually end up in the wedding party.
I hope this answers your question.
Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert
About Angela
