Question from Lydia:
Our son and daughter in law to be are getting married in May and have just surprised us on Christmas that they will be having a baby in July. They live out of town and I have already started plans for a bridal shower. I believe it is not in good judgement to combine both. Some say invite 1/2 to a bridal shower and 1/2 to a baby shower. I do not want to offend anyone. This is such a happy time for all of us. I, mother of the groom do not want to look like a jerk! Please advise.
Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:
Hi Lydia, and congratulations on two such happy events. I suggest that the bridal shower occur before the wedding, and the baby shower can occur AFTER the baby has been born.
The bridal shower is actually the responsibility of the maid of honour who has the bridal party as her assistants. Usually she works with the mother of the bride and groom to get a list of family members to invite to the bridal shower. It is not considered proper etiquette for the family to host the bridal shower because it is improper for the family to ask for gifts for the couple. I’m not sure how far away your son and future daughter-in-law live from you, but you should communicate with the maid of honour so there are no hard feelings. The bridal shower should be held by a friend if the maid of honour lives too far away to host it for local family members.
Following proper etiquette, the bridal shower attendees should be the wedding party, the mothers of the bride and groom, sisters of the bride and groom, and the bride’s closest friends and/or coworkers. This tradition has change over time to include the aunts and cousins of the bride and groom. Some regions have larger bridal showers where all women invited to the wedding are invited to the bridal shower, but this is not proper etiquette.
The bridal shower should take place 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding. The wedding party and the mothers of the bride and groom should all have key tasks during the bridal shower. For example, the mothers might look after the bridal shower games, while the bridal party looks after the food, etc. Because the bridal party has a lot of expenses during the wedding process, it is a nice gesture for the mothers of the bride and groom to purchase the bridal shower favours.
The baby shower does not have to take place before the birth of the baby. It is easier for the guests to purchase gifts appropriate to a baby girl or baby boy, and the guests can meet both the husband and the baby at the baby shower. This party can be hosted by anyone, usually non-family members, but family members can assist through taking care of baby shower favours and baby shower games.
I hope this answers your questions. If you have other questions, please feel free to email again.
Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert































