Question from Shirley:

I am divorced and legally use my married name. I am getting married again so, will I use my married name on the wedding invitation?

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Shirley, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  Yes, you would use your legal name on the wedding invitation.  This video on how to word wedding invitations will help you with the wording of your wedding invitations. 

As an ‘encore bride’ —someone who has been married before—there are etiquette rules for you that do not apply to a first-time bride.  For example, although whomever is invited to your bridal shower must be invited to the wedding, you would NOT invite people who attended your first bridal shower to your second bridal shower.  They have already given you a wedding shower gift.  You can, of course, still invite them to your wedding.

Although, at an encore wedding, you can have a wedding dress, it is usually more subdued and less flamboyant than at a first-time wedding.  Most encore wedding dresses tend to be cocktail length dresses, or a classy couture suit that can be worn again.  Although blusher veils (over the face) are not used at an encore wedding, a short veil is acceptable.  An encore bride usually wears a hat, hair ornaments or fresh flowers in their hair instead of a veil. 

The size of the bridal party is usually smaller at an encore wedding.  In addition, when it comes to the receiving line, the parents are not usually included (unless they are paying for the wedding) and any children the couple may have are included in the receiving line. 

Just because you are having an encore wedding, it does not mean you cannot have an elegant, and sophisticated affair.  It just is smaller in scale than a first wedding. 

Enjoy!  and if you have further questions, feel free to email again, or comment below. 

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Andrea:

What’s more in style these days for bridesmaid dresses, short or long?  Our wedding will be in July 2010.  Thanks.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Andrea, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  It is more common ‘these days’ for bridesmaids to wear T-length (short) dresses.  Why?  more and more weddings are informal or contemporary, and long dresses are for more formal weddings. 

If you are having a sophisticated, formal, elegant wedding, long dresses are much more suitable than short ones.  If you are having an informal outdoor wedding, short dresses are more suitable.  It really depends upon your wedding theme. 

So, it depends, really on the vision for your wedding.  The type of wedding you choose is really a reflection of your personality as a couple.  Are you an upscale kind of couple?  Then your wedding choices should reflect that.  If you are a casual couple, your wedding choices should reflect that.  The length of dresses you choose for your bridesmaids will also be a reflection of your style as a couple.

Take a look through the bridal magazines to see the major trends in dresses.  It will give you an idea of what is "in" and what is not.  Good luck, and if you have any further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Susan:

Hello and thank you -  This is a good friend and co workers wedding.  It is at 5:00pm with a sit down dinner reception at another location which is an exclusive plantation clubhouse.  Would black slacks and a very nice silk top be appropriate for this?  I am a 43 yr old single mom in South Carolina, Beaufort. Thank you.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Susan.  Yes, your attire sounds appropriate.  Ensure you have a nice pair of heels (no flats) to keep the look upscale.  Nice bridal accessories like jewellery or a scarf will complete the look.  Enjoy!

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Amy:

Can you help me find white bridesmaid dresses with multi colored flowers at bottom?

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Amy.  I have never seen a bridesmaids dress like you are describing.  That is not to say it doesn’t exist.  There are thousands of dress manufacturers all over the world, and depending where in the world you live, you will have access to different dress lines and designers than someone in another part of the world. 

Finding a nice white bridesmaid dress is easy.  In fact, some brides who are having an informal wedding often choose a nice bridesmaids dress for their wedding dress.  Flower appliques are numerous—check your local sewing shops.  Having them applied to an existing dress is a nice option if you cannot find a ready-made dress to your liking.  Just "google" flower appliques for a wide variety that you can choose from.

If you have any other questions, feel free to email again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Annie:

Hi there, I’m getting married next year and I have no idea what kind of dress would look good on me.  I’m only 5′ tall and I’m really worried that I will look funny in a real, long wedding gown. I’m also an XS and for a petite person, my chest is really big.  I just don’t want to look like I’m drowning in my dress.

Thank you for your help!

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Annie, a long gown will actually elongate your body and make you look taller—especially an A-line style or something that doesn’t visually "cut you off" at the waist.  What you need to do is pick a dress that balances your upper and lower torso so they look balanced.  If you are top heavy, choose a more flared skirt to balance the top.  A fitted waist will give your body definition and shape. 

Since you are short, you won’t want the big, flared princess style dress, but something with a more fitted shape, and a nicely draped skirt with some flow.

If you are unsure of being able to pick out the right dress, ask a friend or relative whose fashion sense you admire to help you pick out your gown.  The real trick is to have a balanced look to your body—upper and lower halves.  Many styles will do this, so try on lots of dresses.  If you sign up for my free wedding newsletter, you will receive the .pdf How To Dress Your Body Type which you might find helpful.

Good luck, and if you have further questions, please feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Barbara:

My husband and I will be renewing our 30th Wedding vows on the Carnival Valor cruise 12/06/2009, by the cruise Captain and I was wondering if you feel this dress would be an appropriate dress.

Would you suggest something more simple or another color? I was wondering if it is ok to wear white again? any advice would be appreciated.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Barbara, the dress is beautiful, and is entirely appropriate for a cruise wedding renewal of vows.  A renewal of vows can be either extravagant or simple depending upon the couple.  Many couples never had much of a "real wedding" when they first got married, so like to have a more extravagant renewal of vows.  

What you are planning sounds very appropriate.   A renewal or second wedding should be more subdued than a first wedding from an etiquette point of view.  A cruise renewal of vows is very popular choice.  Yes, it is perfectly fine to wear white again, but know that it is a more modern choice.  The traditional choice is to go with ivory, pale yellow or other soft colour.  The choice is yours. 

I think you choice is perfect.  Enjoy! and congratulations!

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Diletta:

Hi Angela.  I chose for my wedding a color theme: red and cream.  I told my bridesmaids that as long as their dress will be red and long I am happy.  Yes, I am not going to pick a style or material, I want them to feel comfortable with the outfit.  One of them already bought hers…and the wedding won’t be until next June (2010)!  Do you think I took the right decision?  Everybody told me yes, but I want the expert opinion!!!   Thank you,

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Diletta, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  The only concern I have is that not all reds are the same.  Some reds are quite bright, and some have a grey undertone, and not every person sees the same color or shade of color.  People are different, and how we see colour differs.  So, my question would be:  Do you want different shades of red for your bridesmaids?  If so, then yes, you have gone about it the right way.  If you want everyone to be the exact same colour, then you need to define the exact colour. 

Having everyone choose their own red colour and their own style is very "European"—the American style being more rigid in having everyone in the exact same dress. But you wanted my opinion.  Yes, I think you made the right decision in allowing everyone their individuality.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Brit:

My wedding gown is red.  What colors should I use for Maid of honor and Bridesmaids?

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Brit, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  You have a number of choices for your MOH and bridesmaids.  You can go with lighter shades of red, or into the pinks.  Any of the yellow or green family of colours would work well with red.  Brown and black go well with red also—-although black is a pretty strong colour for a wedding, but it doesn’t seem you are afraid of colour!!  So, those are the usual colours that go with red, although purple works well with red it is not a combination that is often seen. 

Those are the basic choices.  Good luck and if you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Madiha:

Hi.  I want to wear some skirt or frock on my marriage but I don’t know which kind of dress suits me.  Please help me.  Waiting for an answer.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Madiha.  I can’t tell you what kind of wedding dress suits you without knowing what you look like.  The real key is choosing something that  gives your upper and lower body a balanced look.  If you sign up for the free SmartBrideTM Newsletter, you will receive a free .pdf called The Secret of Dressing Your Body Type.  Another way to figure it out, is to take a family member or friend with you to a wedding dress shop and try some dresses on.  Get their opinion, and the shop keepers will help you also.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Adebowale:

Hi Angela.  I am a lady who is about 5 feet 7 inches.  I have broad shoulders and little or no hips.  What type of gown do you think will make me look quite shapely on my wedding?  Thank you for your anticipated help.  I really look forward to hearing from you.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  You have a cone shape or inverted triangle shape.  A cone shaped woman has a broader top and a narrower bottom. Broad shoulders, a medium bust, an average waist, narrow hips, and shapely long legs are all attributes of the cone shaped figure. When choosing a wedding gown, you want to aim for balancing out your top and bottom halves.

Choose a full skirt to balance the width of your shoulder. Your neckline should elongate you, like a deep V-neck. You don’t want a neckline that makes your shoulders look broader, and you must stay away from off the shoulder style bodices. The bodice style and neckline should both work to elongate your upper torso, with a vertical style. A ball gown style, or an A-line silhouette would both look great on your figure.

You might consider signing up for The Secret of Dressing Your Body Type for more details. 

Good luck, and if you have any questions, feel free to email again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Tamara:

Dear Angela, My wedding is coming up on July 4th 2009, and I’m having problems getting a colour scheme.  I really like the idea of having mostly white decorations, with possibly some bright centerpieces, (red,pink and peach).  What colour would you suggest for bridesmaids dresses?

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Tamara and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  The .pdf I wrote called Wedding Colour Choices Made Easy might help you decide how to incorporate colours into your decor.  If you want to stay mostly white, I would recommend you use white with different textures.  That is how to create visual interest in a monochromatic look. 

Any one of your colours would work really well with white.  In fact, you could use both red and pink (next to each other on the colour wheel) in your decor, as they work really well together.  If you kept the colour tones the same (all bright or soft) you could even use peach with red and pink.  I would suggest red and pink, with touches of peach thrown in here and there in the flowers. 

There are some great bridemaid dresses here, including a wonderful After Six  bridesmaid dress here that comes in over 50 colours.  Any one of the colours you suggest would work nicely for a bridemaid dress, but I would see what colouring your bridemaids have to find a colour that suits their skin tone.. 

Remember that you can also accent your decor with wedding favours that can either fit into your "splashes of colour" or you can find neutral ones that will keep the soothing tone of your overall colour scheme.

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.  

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert 

Question from Kim:

Aloha, my name is Kim and I wanted to know what type of wedding dress would look good on me.  I’m not big but not small either.  I have a little meat on my
body, but I want to look good but don’t know what type of dress to get.  Thank you.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Kim and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  When choosing your wedding gown, it is important to identify your body type.  I have written a free .pdf called The Secret of Dressing Your Body Type which talks about how to choose the right gown for your body type. 

The important thing to know when choosing your wedding gown is that when you wear the dress, your upper and lower torso must look balanced.  If either top or bottom half look out of proportion, you need to change the style of that part of the dress.  This article will explain dressing your body type in more detail.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Eloisa:

I am looking for a cocktail dress for myself and my husband is planning on wearing a suit although he feels strange being a little more dressed up then the guests and I try to tell him that we should a little bit more dressed up because we are hosting and it is our 25th anniversary.  We should be fine dressed up as I mention above even though we are having this event during the day and having a picnic style buffet for lunch.  Is our attire is good since we are renewing our vows? 

Also for my out of state guests, should I give them the info about hotels prices and rental car prices when I send the save-the-date cards or should I wait until they ask? Because they may need the info in case they want to stay in a hotel that is in the same city on where we are having the event? Thank you.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Eloisa.  Your attire sounds perfect.  There are some great cocktail dresses (sometimes called T dresses) which you can find at this link. 

As for your out of town guests, I would wait until they ask for additional information.  Informing them that you have the information is enough at this stage of the process.  This post about save-the-date cards gives a more complete answer. 

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Heather:

I was wondering if anyone has an idea of where I could find a "butterfly" wedding dress. I would like to have a ball gown type dress with train and some sort of delicate subtle butterfly accents. Not too much color, if any.  I have only been able to find dresses that are either very very colorful, or really weird. I found one that was cute, but not what I was hoping for.  I would like to find my dream dress and sew some butterfly type jewels or accents on it myself if I had to, but my fiance wants me to have everything as perfect as I can and doesn’t think I should settle for anything less (I wouldn’t mind doing that at all).  Anyway, if anyone has any insight, I would greatly appreciate it

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Heather.  I have not seen a butterfly wedding gown anywhere.  I suggest you get some pictures of what you want, and approach a seamstress to make it for you.  You can have it exactly as you want it.  Depending upon how complicated it will be, it might not be any more expensive than purchasing a dress and adding the butterfly details yourself.  Get more than one quote from seamstresses on what they would charge to make it for you.

If you have further questions, feel free to email me again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Question from Jocelyn:

Hi Angela I want to know if you have heard of lily wedding?  It is a online site that I found on google it has cheap wedding dresses.  I want to order from there but I am worried it will be something cheaply made or nothing at all please help.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Jocelyn, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  I have not heard of lily wedding, but that doesn’t mean anything, as there are thousands of websites.  If you are unsure of a website, you can check the contact us, and about us information, and see what you can find out about the company.  You can phone them to speak to someone so you can get a feel for them.  What country are they from?  Will you be paying custom fees or import duty?  This will increase the cost of the dress.

There are many websites that sell wedding dresses, and most websites purchase from the same wholesaler suppliers.  I suggest you look around at other wedding shops to see if you can see the same wedding dress manufacturer and style.  If you can, you are probably buying the real thing.  Remember, you get what you pay for. 

If you have any further questions, feel free to email again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert