Once more popularly known as a bridal shower, these occasions are really to celebrate the bridal couple and to present them with gifts so that the newlyweds will at least be equipped with an array of treasures to start their married life. Pots and pans, candle stands, place mats, an oven or a stove, kitchen utensils are among the more famous gifts brought to these functions.
A long time ago, the event was actually meant to celebrate just the bride. Grooms were not included in these parties. Nowadays, however, both the bridal couple is guests of honor at these functions. After all, the act of gift giving is meant to benefit both the husband and wife to be.
Usually held between a month to six weeks before the wedding itself, this custom originated in Belgium around the 1860s. There are, however, some schools that insist the event originated from the United States even though the tradition there was only noted beginning the 1890s. Still, Belgium or America, wedding showers remain primarily a US or Canadian practice now, coordinated by the bridesmaids or maid of honor who would invite guests to offer gifts for the home of the bride and groom.
Born more out of necessity, the custom stemmed from earlier practices of giving away a dowry. Back then, it was customary for the woman or her family to provide a dowry for the husband-to-be to help him care for her later on in their marriage. In the case of a woman from a poor family, the bridal shower comes in handy as she would then enter matrimony bearing household items to start her life as the wife.
Other sources said bridal showers started from incidents when a woman chooses to marry a man without her father’s approval. She would then not get any dowry to give her husband and in such situations, friends of the woman would gather together and bring gifts that would compensate for the dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice.
In the United States, wedding showers began in the urban areas in the 1890s, mainly among upper middle class people and by the 1930s, the customs has spread to rural America.
Traditionally also, bridal showers emphasizes gender roles, the event more for the women to gather and have some fun and talk about the future role of the bride-to-be as family cook, homemaker and sexual partner. We all know that that has changed since.
And because guests to these showers usually come bearing gifts, hosts of today have come up with shower favours to give the guests for their generosity. These favours, consisting of anything one can imagine and/ or afford, are often personalized with the name of the bride and groom and the wedding date. Sometimes, the favours could be useful or decorative items, all meant as memento for the happy event.
Bridal shower etiquettes have also changed over time. If in the 1920s, these showers are ‘spontaneous and informal’ with guests arriving unannounced at the bride-to-be’s home, today’s parties are slightly more complex and elaborate, with special menu listed out and themes and games organized to ensure guests go home with great memories.
But whatever your reasons for holding a bridal shower, not everyone invited to the wedding is invited to the wedding shower. The number of guests and their relationship to the bridal couple varies widely. In Canada, for example, the entire community hall is engaged for the said purpose and having 300 guests to the shower is a norm. Other cultures may feel differently and the showers are a more intimate affair with only close friends, relatives and respected figures invited to the occasion.
So one should remember to extend a special wedding shower invitation to the selected group of people he or she wants at the bridal shower. Many have made a mistake of including the shower data in the wedding invitation card. Needless to say, they end up with almost everyone at the bridal shower and again at the wedding!
Among the suggestions is to have specially made invitations cards to the wedding shower, one that is different from the wedding invitation card itself. Of course, these are sent to the guests by the host, and not the bridal couple. As such, the design and outlook of these wedding shower invitations can be totally ‘unrelated’ to the wedding invitation.
And because you want to invite only selected people to the shower, not much money is being spent for these invitation cards especially when the party venue is at secluded gardens and private homes.
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